Calmly Chaotic

I am strangely excited about tomorrow.  Tomorrow is our consent signing appointment where we get to read about all of the risks at stake when embarking on in-vitro fertilization with ICSI.  I am hopeful that this two hour appointment will also cover which protocol I will be on because despite my go…

I have been to yoga and body pump tonight.  I figured two hours at the gym could not hurt if I took it easy.  It is so much easier to get out of my head if I am concentrating on beating everyone else in the class.. I am just a tad competitive.  Now that I am even more physically exhausted than I wa…

I am trying to figure out how to describe yesterday's events.  The morning was full of anxiety and stomach knots but thankfully my Husband was here to try and keep me calm.  Every time the door would open at the clinic I would hope that the nurse would not call my name.  They are just so punctu…

Tomorrow is test day take two, otherwise known as hysterosonogram day in our house.  I will admit that I am very nervous for this procedure and have found myself awake at ungodly hours the past few nights for no apparent reason.  Google has not been on my side when it comes to the hysterosonogram, …

I realize that fall just officially started, however yesterday and this morning here in Ottawa have definitely hinted at summer, reminding me of one of my favourite movies filmed here in Ontario at Camp Tamakwa.. Indian Summer.  I have been trying to get my hands on a copy of this movie for too lon…

It is a cold Ottawa morning, but I am lucky to be working from home today with the company of my cats.  While drinking my first cup of decaf organic green tea this morning, I stumbled across a few beautiful things online.

I remember the instant that I fell for my Husband.  I was thirteen and we were in gym class.  I remember it vividly as my best friend had accused me immediately after the game of falling for him.  I do not think it is normal to know who you want to marry when you are thirteen but this is what happe…

I had cat guilt this morning.  We have two very different cats that I completely adore.  This morning they were both giving me the "why are you leaving me again" look.  Here's a peak at "Little One" although she clearly isn't little...

No, I'm not talking about my Husband and I, although I will delve more into that in my next post.  What I am talking about is the print that is hopefully in the mail on its way to its new home in our house.

With the first day of fall now here, I have decided that it is time to dive into some ne…

Yesterday's test day surprised me.  The clinic threw me a curve ball and had my blood-work done first.  Well I think that their surprise tactic worked to their advantage as I made it through without fainting thanks in part to the apple juice post draw.. yes I am a child I know.

The ultrasound t…

Today is the last day of summer.  I am the type of person who basks in the heat and wears a minimum of five under-coat layers in the winter.  So long summer.. I will miss you..

Today is test day for me.  I have knots in my stomach just thinking about them.  Normally I fear medical tests because of the needles involved and the inevitable fainting that will ensue.  Yes I faint when I get blood taken.  Every nurse seems convinced that the last nurse was just not a super star…

Hopefully mother nature will cooperate this afternoon so we can go and visit this beautiful place..

It's another beautiful morning here in Ottawa. I don't know where the summer went. It seems that it was hot and humid a couple of weeks ago and now I find myself having to layer every time I leave the house. I need to pace myself otherwise I'll never be able to handle the Ottawa frig…

I had a solid relationship with the Pill for a good 10 years.  It provided me with security, lowered anxiety and good skin.  Our breakup occurred roughly a year ago, was not mutual and did not end well for either party.  The pill managed to take off with my health and left me unprepared for the raw…

We decided to start trying when I was 26 years old almost exactly a year ago.  Personally I thought getting pregnant would be easy as my mom always said that she could blink and be pregnant.  I thought fertility clinics were for people who found each other later in life.  Oh I was so wrong.

I was l…

This morning reminds me of this gorgeous morning just a couple of weeks ago in Acadia National Park..

I've spent the better part of this year thinking that I would start a blog.  I obsessed for months about what I would name the blog, what I would focus on and most importantly what it would look like.

This morning my blog template was officially loaded so now I have to rip it off like a band-ai…