thirty two weeks pregnant

Time seems to finally be flying by.  I feel like I was just entering the 30's and now I find myself wondering where the time went.

I think we're ready.

I mean there are still some things that need to get done (like painting of the dresser for the nursery, the hanging of the artwork and mirror and the replacing of the blinds and curtains)... but these aren't showstoppers.  These seem like lose ends that will get done very shortly.  I should probably pack my hospital bag too but I am thinking that if it isn't packed, then I can't go into labor.  I kind of feel like if I pack it, I will be too ready if that makes any sense at all.

Have I mentioned that Andrew has been mia these past weeks?  Well he has been studying... all of the time when he hasn't been at work.  His exam is Monday.  I can't wait.  I want my Husband back.

As excited as I am for these babies to arrive, I am also clinging to the time that we have left together, just the two of us.  I read this lovely birth story earlier this week and suddenly found myself tearing up.

At this point physically I feel heavy, my feet and hands have started to swell (which I've fought against by drinking ridiculous amounts of water every day and by sleeping with an ice pack between my feet (I wish I was kidding)), moving around is getting harder but I am still being told that I am waddle free and show no evidence of the pregnant belly from behind (I am determined to remain waddle free, no matter how tempting it may become!).

Emotionally ... I am emotional.  I cry when I wake up and realize I have nothing planned for the day and will have to spend it laying on a couch or a mat, I cry when I make a ridiculous mistake that makes me feel like the bigger this belly gets, the smaller my brain gets, and I cry when I see our babies on the ultrasound screen, doing amazing things like practicing breathing and opening and closing their eyes.

Right now despite this roller coaster, or maybe because of it, I feel raw and ready, in awe of what my body has done and keeps on doing and oh so excited for the weeks to come.